Books: Mark E. Smith biography is fucked up.

We've always kind of loved Mark E. Smith, but it's more because he's totally insane and really smug (we aim to be like him minus the insane part) and also that he's been doing The Fall for thirty years.  Also of note, in those years, Smith has gone through so many band members, no one really remembers most of their names or what happened to them.

If there were a "Behind The Music", it'd take three hours just for each bicker, punch, kick, or bite.  For more on that, here's a just-released excerpt from dude's biography.

And I couldn't stand my sisters. Sometimes in the school holidays when my mam and dad were at work, I'd be looking after five fucking girls: my three sisters, this adopted kid, and another whose parents were abusive to her. This was late the 60s or early 70s, and they'd have been about four or five at the time.

I devised this thing called "Japanese prison camp". I'd make them sit in this room under a table with a big cloth over them because the air force might be coming. I'd be the Japanese guard. "You can't go out. You must stay under there," I'd tell them. Then I'd shut the door, say I was going to the bridge on the River Kwai, have some pop, go out with my mates and, half an hour before my mam and dad came home, I'd return, saying, "Japanese prison camp is now over."

If they escaped, the punishment would be "No lemonade." They used to love it. Throw sweets under the cloth. Good laugh.

They always remember it, my sisters, when they get a bit pissed: "We remember Japanese prison camp. You don't fool us, you pop star." And my mam's going, "What's Japanese prison camp?" Today, we'd probably get investigated by the social services.

For more of the excerpt, go on ahead here, if, you know, you want to melt your brain and stuff.

(mp3)   The Fall - Hot Aftershave Bop

Godspeed!