Wtf?!: Michael Jackson's confiscated underwear to be sold at auction

For only a million dollars (reserve price on eBay) you too can own a little bit of what some children saw while learning their "ABC"'s.  Okay, we know that was harsh, but come on.  This is all quite a bit ridiculous.

The briefs are reportedly part of the evidence confiscated by police in 2003 as part of Jackson’s child molestation trial, in which he was eventually cleared.

New Jersey businessman Henry Vacarro obtained the underpants - which come in a sealed evidence bag, wrapped with police tape - as part of a bankruptcy case, according to New York Post gossip column Page Six.

The auction for the items begins on Wednesday (tomorrow).

(mp3)    Michael Jackson - Thriller (Richard Grey remix)

Godspeed!

Covers are murder #9

That's right.  It's back.  "Covers Are Murder", one of our most beloved pieces to write, makes its return.  And we have such a good one, it's almost unreasonable.  Let's take one of the most popular girl anthems in the history of recorded music (not to far behind "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in our book), Kelly Clarkson's massive "Since U Been Gone".  If you were to think of the most unimaginable circumstance to give the song, what would it be?  Would it involve Victory Records?  How about a video rip-off mixed in with a total dude-fest live performance?  Maybe pepper in some plugs?  What you end up with is A Day To Remember, a throw-away screamo band who by this time next year will be back at Sonic slinging 99-cent shakes.  At least, that's what the good of humanity would dictate for these lads.

(mp3)    A Day To Remember - A Second Glance

Godspeed!

Rumors: Justice to produce new Red Hot Chili Peppers record

Just a month or so after we broke news that Anthony Kiedis and the boys from RHCP would be taking a year-long break, the rumor mill has been grinding pretty hard the last few days with a tidbit about Xavier and Gaspard aka Justice maybe potentially sort of kind of working with the band on their next record.  We totally don't believe this at all, but if anything, we could totally see how Rick Rubin would be a huge fan of Justice and maybe will put in a good word for the duo.

(mp3)    Simian vs. Justice - Never Be Alone

Godspeed!

News: Press release says The Funky Bunch to return without Marky Mark

Filed under "great moments in press release history", news is now breaking that the group that redefined what it meant to be funky (oh my God, we totally just wrote that) is getting their act back together, though in less a form than expected.

Under the name The Funk Bs, returning original members Scott "Great Scott" Ross, Hector "HB" Barros, Terry "DJ -T" Yancy have recruited new rappers Jaime "Avalanche" Haage, Lola "LB" Frazier, Chad "Dragon" Penney, Dawayne "DJ Rareform" Branco and Michael "Yung Piff" Wilder to launch their comeback.

And despite Wahlberg insisting in October he wanted to reform the group because he "missed performing with the guys", the rapper-turned-actor will not be included in the new line-up.

Funk B star Ross says, "Hector, Terry, and I have had the opportunity to do many wonderful things in and outside of the music industry since the days of (hit single) 'Good Vibrations'. We always knew that we would do another musical venture together. This year it felt like it was the right time to return. The music on our new CD represents the best in world music and the newest members add a great sound and new look to our product!"

The band is scheduled to hit the road this summer in support of their new album. Their first single "She Said" is slated for release on May 20.

We can't say for sure how we feel about not having Wahlberg rejoin the group, but we can make the case that any shlub with an ounce of karaoke skill could probably fill the shoes, albeit minus the showing of boxer briefs part.  Also, we totally want to know what Mark's nickname was, as it seems like everyone had basically come up with their own superhero-like alter ego.  We don't think "Marky Mark" fits that bill.

(mp3)    The White Stripes - There's No Home For You Here

Godspeed!

News: Jade Tree have a soccer team. They need fan support. Who knew?

Apparently beginning in 2004, the Jade Tree United Soccer Club has been competing in Delaware for some time without much of a following.  We think, at least.

The team, Jade Tree owners Tim Owen and Darren Walters; employee and Iranian International Mehron Moqtaderi; Cuban all-stars Victor Alvarez and Alfredo and Andrew Agra; and rising Asian star Tam Bui, is rounded out by the sturdy legs of Alex Rudzinski and Casey Gallucio and the handy Mike Durbin as keeper.  The team now is pleading via MySpace for fan support through the purchase of limited edition scarves (not bullshitting here) which you can get your mitts on for $18.75 a piece.  The music industry must really be struggling, huh?

This just in...what?  We mean no disrespect, but come the fuck on!  Stick to putting out marginal-quality rock music from the likes of Cloak/Dagger, Paint It Black and Fucked Up, why don't you.  Leave the football coverage out of your news.

(mp3)    Paint It Black - Past Tense, Future Perfect

(mp3)    Fucked Up - Baiting The Public

Godspeed!

Breaking: People are saying Heath Ledger is dead

Okay, we're not going to jump the gun here because at first only TMZ was reporting this.  But we just learned that the AP is carrying this story too, so, yeah.  So it goes.  Heath Ledger--found dead in his SoHo residence.  He leaves behind a career, an ex-wife in Michelle Williams and a daughter who'll all no doubt need a load of help dealing with this all.

(video)    Heath Ledger singing from "10 Things I Hate About You"

(mp3)   Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead

Godspeed!

Film: Why is Albert Maysles working with Fall Out Boy?

We don't know what's worse: that Maysles hasn't found Ashlee Simpson to be his muse or that in her stead, he's become quite fond of these shitty-music-slinging boys.  Also, and this is just a thought we had, but, ewwwwwww.

We couldn't have found a better way for Maysles to die (he is 80-ish) than for him to be hanging out with Pete Wentz and fall victim to an accidental eyeliner mishap.

"Albert came along and was like, 'I'm really interested in doing something with your band,' and we did the thing like when you're in high school and the hot girl talks to you, and you sort of look behind you and go, 'Who, us?' " Wentz laughed. "I mean, he did 'Gimme Shelter,' and it's amazing, and seriously, this guy could document pretty much anything, and he wanted to do something with us. That's what blew our minds more than anything."

Maysles and his crew hit the road with Fall Out Boy for five dates on their Young Wild Things Tour, filming both the band's secret show in Buffalo, New York, on November 19 (which they played under the alias "Schrute Farms") and Wentz's cameo in an upcoming Cobra Starship video, which was shot this month in Brooklyn, New York. The goal, according to Wentz, is to document "how the industry is changing," by focusing on his mega-successful stable of Decaydance Records artists.

(mp3)    Gary Numan - Films

Godspeed!

Wtf?!: Will Smith conquers stupidity with Hitler comment

According to the good folks at Page Six, the once and future Fresh Prince was caught saying one of the most horrifyingly stupid and asinine things we at the culture of me have probably ever imagined hearing.  Enjoy this one kids.  It's much more than a doozy.

Will Smith has stunned the world by declaring that even Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler was essentially a "good" person.

The “Men In Black” star, 39, is determined to see the best in people, and is convinced the former German leader did not fully understand the extent of the pain and suffering his actions would cause during his time in power in the 1930s and ’40s.

He says, "Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘Let me do the most evil thing I can do today’.

"I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming."

(mp3)    Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Fuck Off

Godspeed!

News: Lily Allen, Jamie Lynn Spears preggers; stealing thunder from Alba's soon-to-be-son, Oedipus

Holy ovaries, Batman!  Spawn are flying everywhere!  News breaking that Britney isn't the Spears that is with-child kinda makes us more sad.  Especially since her lil sis Jamie Lynn is only 16 years old.  Can you say "statutory"?  Her boy's 19.  Cuh-razy.

Also, Lily Allen is carrying the next of kin from 37-year-old Chemical Brother Ed Simons.  We're still reeling from that whole mess she put us through with that new GQ UK spread.  Girl's just lost some weight and will now be carrying around a fetus and change.  Sheesh.

(mp3)    Lily Allen - Everything Is Just Wonderful

Godspeed!

Video: Mickey Avalon - "Mr. Right"

We know that we're totally not the first to ask how this guy is still famous (and more than likely, we won't be the last either), but this video should totally be put into evidence to how a no-talent former junkie (we guess) could somehow rise up to be a poster-child for the fame-obsessed LA hipster while still not being relevant to anything or anywhere else.  And we're totally sure that somehow people who are watching this video on YouTube and reading on this guy will become fans of his (what with his mixture of old school beats, panache to the max and the cameo from one Ms. Paris Hilton), but we don't know.  We wrote a long time ago about Avalon under the heading of "When hype is real", because, well, we thought he could become something way more important than some shlub from rock bottom who could rhyme (a little), but we know now that we were wrong.  By a lot.  Seriously.  We're sorry.

(mp3)    Mickey Avalon - So Rich, So Pretty

Godspeed!